Inkheart Interrogarigations! XD
by Potatostien
Summary: My name is Jenny. And my 2 goals in life are to find one who likes the bottoms of cupcakes and to answer ur book questions. And I do that by asking the charicters themselves. With the help of my bestest buddy Rachel -INKSPELL'D- We shall!
1. Ch1: Of Apricots and The Wang Chung

Jenny- Aloha Earthlings! And welcome to this show fic thingy. Today me and me bestest buddy Rachel will be interviewing InkHeart characters. Answering questions that MUST BE ANSWERD!

Rachel- Pancakes!

Jenny- That's right Rachel! Since _I_ have no life this fic will be finished! And since _you_ have no life I'm sure you will finish this fic!

Audience member- Excuse me!

Rachel- There is no excuse for you! Stupid commie!

Jenny- Sorry audience member but you _do_ look like a commie.

Audience member- My name is Katie!

Jenny- SILENCE! *Turns Katie the audience member into an apricot*

Darius- APRICOT! *Consumes apricot*

Rachel- We did not call upon you!! *Darius disappears*

Jenny- Our first guest is Farid! *Farid appears*

Audience- YAY!

Farid- Where am I? Who are you people?!

Jenny- Shut up! *Slaps Farid* Ok first question!!!

Rachel- Why were you such a butt hole in InkDeath?

Farid- What's InkDeath?! Where am I?!

Jenny- BY ALL THAT IS FLUFFY AND DEADLY WHY WERE YOU SO MEAN TO MEGGIE?!

**_INKDEATH SPOILER_**

Farid- I was looking for Dustfinger what else was I supposed to do?!

Rachel- I dunno. Except the fact that he was dead perhaps?

Farid- NEVER!

Jenny- *shoots Farid with laser. Puts Farid in chair while still stunned. Takes out book and read*

Jenny- LOOK! BET YOU CAN'T DO THIS CAN YOU?! THAT'S WHY MEGGIE LOVES DORIA!

Farid- *Cries*

**_INKDEATH SPOILER OVER_**

Rachel- But all and all you're a pretty cool character.

Jenny- Ok next question. What's you're favorite color?

Farid- What kind of question is that?

Rachel- What. Is. Your. Favorite. Color.

Farid- Red.

Jenny-YAWN!!!

Rachel- We all know blue is way better!

Jenny- And purple and green are expectable too!

Farid- Well I like red!!!

Jenny- Ok, jeeze touchy!

Rachel- Next ques-ti-on: What's you're favorite soup?

Farid- Chowder.

Jenny- Chowder isn't a soup dumbo!

Farid- Fine! Chicken noodle!

Jenny- That's it? God you're more boring than a chapter from Orpheus's point of view!

Rachel- Yeah you dumb commie!

Farid- I'm Arabian!

Jenny- Don't listen Rachel!!! That's what he wants you to think!!

Audience-Le gasp!!!

Rachel- He's here to control us all! Hide you daughters before he smothers them with his fluffy pillow of death!!

Jenny- *sarcastically* He's uber nimble and uber quick! Watch out!

Rachel- Farid be nimble Farid be quick Farid jump over me candle stick!!!

Jenny- Farid don't jump! It's suicide!

Farid- What are you talking about?!

Rachel- Were talking about you're life Farid! A Farid is a terrible thing to waste!

Jenny- Yeah! It's a _really_ rare name!

Rachel- Farid is Rareid!

Jenny- That was a bad pun!

Rachel- It's wordplay! WORDPLAY!

Jenny- Well all the same it sucked.

Rachel- _You_ suck!

Farid- I WANT TO GO HOME!

Jenny- What home?

Farid- Right here. Here's my home. *Puts fist to heart*

Rachel- We just lost 10 friggin viewers thanks to Wang Chung's home is where the heart is speech!!!

Farid- I'm Arabian!

Rachel- Everybody have fun tonight!!! Everybody Wang Chung tonight!!!

Jenny- Oh oh!! Lets Wang Chung!!

*Music starts. Jenny and Rachel begin dancing rapidly to the Wang Chung*

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.**_

_**Ok peoples the next chapters gonna be much funnier and it's gonna star Dustfinger! Please post questions for Dusteh. We take suggestions. If you post it will be up by tomorrow I promise!**_


	2. Ch2: Of Alibis and Plots

**Dr Disclaimer: Jenny is completely mental. She thinks she InkHeart, Doria's diamond store, sponge bob, fangurls of any kind, and Edward Cullen. Sadly she doesn't.**

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN~.~.~.~.~.~.~**_

Jenny- Happy cumquat day!

Rachel- Arriba!

Jenny- Let me just say I am soooooo sorry to keep u waiting! I promised to post yesterday but I didn't.

Rachel- Ya Jenny But sorry doesn't fix all there broken hearts now does it?!

Jenny- *death glare* Shut up Rachel.

Rachel- *Death glare back* You shut up.

Jenny- You!!

Rachel- You!!

*Jenny an Rachel begin fighting like crabs*

_CUT TO COMMERCIAL_

**(Ever wonder what Doria really does? Well Here u go.)**

*Random chic in medieval cloths runs in up to another random medieval chic*

Chic #1- *pulls out necklace* HE WENT TO DORIAS!!

Chic #2- HE WENT TO DORIAS!!

Narrator- Doria's is having a sale on finely cut diamonds on Saturday. Buy a necklace get a free pair of wooden wings.

*Chic #1 kissing some medieval dude*

EVERY KISS BEGINS WITH D!

_COMMERCIAL OVA_

Rachel & Jenny- *Smoothing back hair. Background is broken vases & pictures*

Rachel- SOOO! Here's Dusteh!

*Dustfinger appears*

Dustfinger who will now me known as Dusteh- Huh?! WAT!! WHERE AM I?!

Jenny- *Puts hand on Dusteh's shoulder* We'll tell u the same way we told Farid.

*Slaps Dustfinger*

Rachel- NOOOOOOO!! Jenny don't hurt him. He's Cornelia Funk's punching Bag! *Sniff sniff*

Jenny- AAAAH! SHE'S ONE OF THEM! A DUSTFINGER FANGURL! DUSTFINGER FANGURL!!!!

Everyone but Dusteh and Rachel- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Running around and climbing on things*

Jenny- It's contagious!!!

Dr Declaimer- I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS!!! The disease ends here and now…

Random voice- OH NO IT DOSN"T!!!

*Everyone looks ova to area where the random voice is coming from*

*Everyone sees huge mob of Dustfinger Fangirls*

Dustfinger Fangirl- WE SHALL NOT BE SILENCED!!! GET HIM!!

Dr Disclaimer- crap. *Is chased by mod out of studio*

Everything- *goes back to normal*

Jenny- Well I guess that settles that.

Plot- What's wrong with you!! Stick with the plan guys!!

Rachel- Sorry plot.

Jenny- Anyway…

Rachel- MY TUUUUUURN!!! Ok!

Jenny- NO MINE!!!

Rachel- Do you really want to start this again?

Jenny- *sigh* No…

Plot- GUYS!!! THE PLAN!!

Rachel- Ok! Ok! Jeez…*muttering* stupid plot… -normal voice- OK! Dusteh! What was it like to die?

Dustfinger- Um… Bad I guess. Like… death.

Jenny- Dustfinger. Can you explain why you turned Farid into a jackass?

Dustfinger- I wouldn't if I were you. He's got fangurls.

Jenny- HEY! ONLY I SPELL FANGURLS WITH A 'U' ON THIS SHOW/FIC!!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

Dustfinger- NO!

Plot- Both of you back on track if you ever want to finish this friggin thing!

Rachel- Shut up Plot! Were trying.

Jenny- Next question: Are you more of a loner or more of a 'just Farid and you' person, or an entertainer.

Dusteh- Kinda a Farid and me entertaining thing.

Rachel- THAT WASN'T AN OPTION BUDDIE!!!

Plankton- YOU JUST LOST YOUR BRAIN PRIVLEGES!!! I'll call u Dusty robot mechanical finger… U get it I'm putting the brain in the robot.

Dustfinger- Wa…

Rachel- Sorry that happens. But we still have one more question and we don't want the plot to get mad again…

Plot- Daaaaaaaaaas' right! Or I'll call my gang Subject, The Point, and Topic to beat 'yall up!

Jenny- Wow! You managed to put gangsa talk, country talk, and goofiness into one sentence.

Plot- GRRRR…

Rachel- Ok! Ok! Jeezum. Last question: Why does The authoress always pick on you?

Dustfinger- *Sigh* I dunno. She started imagining me with scares I guess. It's always the guy with scars that get picked on.

Jenny- Not really. In most books the kids with scars are hot misunderstood semi-evil characters. None of which you are…

Dusteh- *puppy face* Yeah I am.

Rachel- Your hair is red. You're a good guy. You're like 40 something. I still heart you but I mean come on.

Dusteh- I _AM SO_ HOT!!

Jenny- Nuh uh.

Dusteh- Yeah huh

Jenny- Nuh uh.

Dusteh- yeah huh!

Edward Cullen- I can settle this once and for all. Answer me this Dustfinger. Do you have an alibi?

Dusteh- Uh… wa?

Edward Cullen- Do. You. Have. An. Alibi.

Dusteh- No.

Edward- Then we've established that… U-G-L-Y you aint got no alibi! You Ugly!

Dusteh Fangurls- Excuse us.

Edward Fangurls- Excuse _us_.

*Fangurl fight breaks loose*

Rachel- Well it appears that once again we have defaced our studio.

Jenny- See you next time and don't forget that- AHHHHHHHH!

Plot- *has had enough with all this random fangurl fighting and attacks Jenny and Rachel with It's gang*

_**~.~.~.~.~.~.~.CORN~.~.~.~.~.~.~**_

**Sorry to keep you guys waiting. The next one will be up sooner and it's staring Meggie. If you ask a question I might put you in the show.**


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